Dear future me.

Dear future me, Just remember that if she really loved you she wouldn’t have left you in the first place. Remember how heartbroken you were when she left, and how you felt even worse when you found out the real reason behind why she did. Remember how she lied, how she cheated and how easy it was for her to leave you. Remember the night you only got two hours of sleep because you couldn’t stop crying after she left. Remember the days you could barely eat because the physical ache of missing her was just too much for your body. You lost 5kg at that time. Remember how you barely ever saw her sober. But most importantly don’t remember how much you loved her. Don’t remember her smell, or the way her thumb would glide back and forth on your hand when she was holding it. Don’t remember her laugh, and don’t remember how tight and comforting her hugs were. Don’t remember the pure happiness you felt when you were cuddling, and don’t remember the silly faces she’d pull to make you laugh. If you don’t follow this advice, and you do go back to her, just know that you’re going to end up heartbroken again. You know how much you miss her and you know how much you care for her. You know how sincere her words sound and you know how badly you want to believe her. You know how much simpler it’d be for you to just say “yes”, and you know how badly you yearn for her touch, but she walked all over you. She couldn’t even tell you the truth when she left, so don’t expect her to tell the truth now. I know she’s probably apologizing and saying how terrible of a person she is, and you’re telling her she’s not. How she’s saying her regrets leaving you and how she was never truly happy with him. Just remember, she probably said the exact same thing to him when she left you. Just remember.